Welcome to WORST OF THE WEB, the Black Visions Sightline Column bringing you the absolute arsey-est people, places, and things our intrepid journalists find on the World Wide Web!
FEAST YER FACE-EYES!
Meet Shane Freund.
Mr. Freund is VERY ANGERY.
Whom is he angry with? Women, of course.
An innocent altercation between a white man and a white woman Online drew his righteous wrath.
Dear readers, if you have not sussed this out already, Disagreeing with White Dudes online is like one of the cardinal sins of the Internet. It breaks my heart that this wonderful device which was touted as a facilitator of informed and reasonable debate and exchanging of ideas in the 1990’s has devolved into a baby pen wherein we must all tiptoe around the bawling white manbabies in diapers lest they defecate all over us and our surroundings (see: GamerGate, “Muh Star Wars Ded from Sjoouce”, and so on).
The Darkest Timeline.
John L. Smith, a totally unremarkable and mediocre White Man Online, pleads with us to listen to his well-intentioned, if somewhat screechy and overly dramatic screed bewailing the state of the Modern White Man.
This would be a convincing post, if you were a fucking rube.
Consider: White Dudes invaded almost the entire globe and slaughtered millions of colored people, then stole their shit. We have been doing nothing but listening to white dudes for almost a whole Fucking Millennia.
We have been forced to do so at bayonet point. White Dudes have had ways of quietly removing anyone who refused to listen to them.
In light of this, Mr. Smith sounds like an arse.
Mr. Freund is here to tell you that he is ANGERY! HE IS MANGRY ABOUT THIS WIMMENZ NOT BEING IN THE KITCHEN! Lord knows Mr. Freund’s double chins aren’t going to grow on their own without a barefoot and pregnant woman cookin’ up a rasher of bacon and eggs or whatever country-fried angry white dudes eat these days. I wouldn’t know.
My Gosh, Mr. Freund is mangry. So, so mangry. I mean, he just tore that woman’s throat out for…daring to talk back to a white man.
Help me, I’m choking on irony poisoning.
One of the things that kills me about white dudes is their total lack of self-awareness. We Black folks learn to be self-aware early or risk being dead (or humiliated).
In typical White Dude fashion, this fat, be-bearded walking white trash bag that escaped the bin then proceeds to make it about himself.
The thread goes on like this for a while before fizzling out.
That concludes our column for the day. If you like this, come talk about it on our forum!